Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Personal Phobias: Where's my brown bag? Breathe!

Some people are afraid of spiders. My phobia is less crawly, and a little more verbal.

I used to perform a minimum of once a month, sometimes every week, and during the Christmas season three to five times a week. I love to sing! I love sharing what's in my heart with others. That's also why I love writing.

So no, I'm not talking stage fright here...although playing piano in public... *shudder*

You want to scare me away? Offer a compliment.

Dorky right? Accepting praise is the most intimidating and awkward thing I have encountered. During those periods when I'd perform, I was always looking for the back door, some way to escape before people came up to shake my hand and offer words of congratulations or esteem.

(What does congratulations mean anyway? Good job on not messing up? Seriously, how do you interpret that as a performer?)

I suppose most the problem stems from a flexible face that says exactly what I'm thinking. A regular mental dialog post-performance may go as follows: "Keep that eyebrow down. Smile. Nod. Smile. Nod. Say thank you. Don't giggle! What did she just say? Is it over yet? Hurry, run away!"

Awkward. But awkward is fun, right? No.

Forgive me if you ever stop to shake my hand and my face goes instantly blank. I'm not being rude, just bracing for impact.

What are your strange phobias?

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