The Collier Report

(This is a writers challenge for "crusaders".)

NEWS FLASH:

Anchor 1: From the confessions of a scar-faced woman we extrapolated the latest: the name Chicken refers to not only a character trait, but an actual alias—bloviated in past middle grade experiences for quirkiness.

Anchor 2: Chicken? Really?

Anchor 1: An alias obtained from a first initial and last name.

 

Anchor 2: Interesting.

Anchor 1: When asked how she came to be scar-faced she confessed to a skiing accident induced by a stray rabbit across the trail at the ripe old age of eight. Her blades narrowly missed the little creature and initiated a life-long hate of carrot-nibblers. Bribed to speak further by a promised block of muenster cheese, she confessed to serenading her family in perpetual life-induced music.

Anchor 2: You mean she sings everything?

Anchor 1: Just about. Come to find out she wrote a musical (aimed at Broadway) about a vampire.

Anchor 2: Everyone writes about vampires these days.

Anchor 1: Yes, these days, but the musical began in 2003 as the result of a dream. For more about that see her recent blog entry.

Anchor 2: Interesting.

Anchor 1: That must be your favorite word.

Anchor 2: Forgive me not having the most fuliguline vocabulary. Not all of us grew up with a dictionary glued to our fingers. I just have one more question.

Anchor 1: What’s that?

Anchor 2: What’s the deal with the cheese?

Anchor 1: I asked about that. She said cheese equals happiness.

Anchor 2: Interesting.

Anchor 1: ... Well there you have it folks. Thanks for tuning it and join us next time to learn which of these reported facts are real, and which are pure fiction.